Devil Went Down to the Island

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Lyrics

1. The Devil Went Down to the Island
2. ---
3. Well, the devil went down to the island.
4. He was looking for a beach to spawn.
5. He was in a bind, he was way behind,
6. He was thinking he might have to try a lawn.
7. ---
8. Then he came across a young crab sitting in the shallows and making it hot,
9. And he sat himself down on a sandbar and said,
10. “Girl, let me tell you what.”
11. ---
12. You may not know this, but I'm a connoisseur of evolution.
13. And if you care to take a dare, I think I can beat your adaptation,
14. You found a pretty good niche, crab, but give the devil his due.
15. I bet this detritus that smells against your shell
16. Because I think I'm better than you.
17. ---
18. The crab said, “My name's Horseshoe and it might be a sin,
19. But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret,
20. I'm the best that's ever been.”
21. —
22. Horseshoe polish up your shell and hit those beaches hard
23. Cause hell’s broke lose on the island; evolution holds the cards
24. And if you win you get this pile of detritus that smells
25. But if you lose, the devil gets your shell
26. —--
27. The devil snapped his fingers and mutated dozens of chelicerates, (chelicer-EETs)
28. And he filled the coastal ecosystem with competition for space and eats.
29. As evolution played across a stage of eons of death and bliss,
30. A band of trilobites joined in, and it sounded something like this.
31. ---
32. Well, when he finished, Horseshoe said, “You're pretty good, old son.
33. But just sit yourself down on that beach right there,
34. ’Cause here comes FIVE Mass Extinctions!”
35. She played!
36. ---
37. Moon and tide are rising. Spawn, girls, spawn.
38. Glaciers, volcanoes, asteroids at dawn.
39. Acidification, plankton collapse, and low O₂.
40. Granny, can I survive that? N-O-O, child, N-O-O. (this line in a scottish accent, so ‘no’ rhymes with ‘two’)
41. ---
42. Well, one by one, the Devil watched his species blink into extinction.
43. And he laid that pile of detritus on the ground at Horseshoe's Telson.
44. Horseshoe said, “Devil, you just come on back if you ever want to try again.
45. I done told you once, I'm Queen of the Beach,
46. I'm the best that's ever been.”
47. ---
48. Moon and tide are rising. Spawn, girls, spawn.
49. Glaciers, volcanoes, asteroids at dawn.
50. Acidification, plankton collapse, and low O₂.
51. Granny, can I survive that? noo, child, noo. (this line in a scottish accent, so ‘no’ rhymes with ‘two’)